I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
