yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
