the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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