Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
