its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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