Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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