I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize