What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
