if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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