His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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