yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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