I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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