There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
