Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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