she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My penis needs a shock collar
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
