just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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