you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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