I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
