I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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