I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
