so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize