i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
