Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
