i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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