Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
