I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
