I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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