I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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