the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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