You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
