end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How does it feel to date your dad?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
