I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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