im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
