You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
