why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
