We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
