My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
do herpes really smell.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
