Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
