my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
