I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
