Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
