Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Randomize
