Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize