yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
