i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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