but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
