windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
