u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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