Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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