About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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