Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"

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(404): View more from Georgia

He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying

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(283): View more from Ohio

she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.

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(917): View more from New York City

You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do

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(585): View more from New York

I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)

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