I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
