My pussy is not your playground.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
