Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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