He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
